Thursday, July 31, 2008

New Jersey

Sitting here on Ryan’s uncle’s porch with Michael Buble drumming in my ears, it’s hard to believe that it’s only been a month since the Teacher Training Course(TTC) ended in Toronto where we learned to teach the Youth Empowerment Seminar (YES!), but it has. In only a month, I’ve gone through so many transformations and revelations. I am a completely different person then I was before I started. So much stronger with a lot more faith then I could have ever wished for, but I am still as confused if not more confused then I was before I started this lifestyle.

It is a lifestyle. Some people find it difficult to trust people while we’re in the position where we have to trust them completely. A lot of them are strangers to start, but we all end up feeling like family in the end. Never having really been in a position to be taken care of like this by non-family members, it is weird to be in such a position where I have to be so dependent.

It makes me long for my home, Reno. It's only been like a month and a half since I’ve been in Reno, but it feels like a completely different life. It’s so weird. I miss climbing, but it's becoming a dull longing that I don't see getting fulfilled anytime soon. My schedule isn't my own here. If I’m not having a good day and I just want to sit in a coffee shop all day and read a book, I can't. I have to match my schedule to others and lack my own transportation to have access to the city. It’s a weird feeling. I’ve barely had any alone time, except in meditation.

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