Julee Lee

Jeff and Kristen O'Brien's Wedding

2011-08-22T09:38:00.000-07:00

Oakland CItyscape!

2011-08-19T23:13:00.000-07:00

This image was done with two photos. The first I took on my roof of the cityscape of downtown Oakland. I made a diy heart brokeh lens hood from diyphotography.com (http://www.diyphotography.net/diy_create_your_own_bokeh). The second image I took was also on the roof as well with a flash, wearing black (that rhymes!) and me balancing on a chair in order to get as much black background as I could (which means less postprocessing work which I find to be a pain).

I used gimp and since I forgot to bring my mouse while visiting my friends and family, I painstakingly did it moving my finger very slowly on the laptop pad. Lots of undoing and redoing here.

Really, the reason why I wanted to do this image was so I could have an excuse to use the brokeh lens hood and see what it's all about. It was simple to make and created some cool results, although I thought all the lights were going to be hearts. All well, at least the majority of them are.

SO works about to start again which = more effective time management = more photos = more posts on flickr(http://www.flickr.com/photos/89337456@N00/) and hopefully here as well. :)

Rumors

2011-06-09T07:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had time to shoot and edit. I'm really happy with the results, but I know I can do better. I just feel like there's only so much I can do on Gimp and so much more I can do on photoshop. Soon... loans first, laptop second, then I'll have to start saving for that.

Here's what it ended up looking like:

I took three pictures and lassoed each figure into one image. I had to extend the wall and get rid of a door on the right side of the photo which was a major pain. One thing that bothers me with gimp is I can make convincing shadows and they're such a big part of how real something looks.

The Happiness Project

2011-06-09T06:59:00.000-07:00

I recently stumbled upon a book at a bookstore written by Gretchen Rubin called The Happiness Project. . I didn't have a lot of time to look at the book, but I saw that she had a website. I looked it up later, hoping to find more information on what she did in her search for happiness for a year. It didn't, but it did have a great way to make your own happiness project.

Although I still don't know how to use a lot of the items, it gives you a way to connect with other people and see what they are doing.

I decided to start with three goals: Stretch everyday, Take my vitamins everyday, dance once a week. For some reason, having them down and knowing people can see them is keeping me really accountable. I've missed a day here and there, but I've been doing those things more consistently than I have in the past. Hopefully by the end of the month, they'll become habit and I can come up with new goals.

No Shampoo for You!

2011-06-07T07:06:00.000-07:00

I read this article about how for women with curly hair, not shampooing is the way to go. I have wavy hair, but I figured that was close enough. (I wish I saved the article. I can't seem to find it.)

So, I tried it out... I lasted 4 days. There was no bad odor (I was still using conditioner because I have pretty long hair) but the issue I had was it looked sooo oily. Today I gave in and ended up using shampoo. I will try it again soon and try the baking soda shampooing method. That might work better for me.

2010-10-22T07:18:00.000-07:00

Going through some transitions. Since I graduated from National Holistic Institute this September, I've been debating on where to go for graduate school. I absolutely love teaching and I think that's the route I want to pursue right now, but I can't decide on whether to save my money and go to a cheap teaching credential program or to go all out, study my ass off, take the GREs and apply to good school and be a full time student getting my M.A. I'm kinda leaning more towards the M.A. thing because I do believe that where you go to school matters, which it shouldn't, but it does. It's just so much money and while I'm going to school, I definitely won't be able to work full-time. Maybe part-time? Maybe I could get a massage job. That would be exhausting though and I wouldn't have a social life (not that I have a very big one now anyways) but yeah... i just don't know...

2010-06-16T19:30:00.000-07:00

I swear I used to be better at blogging and all that shit back in high school or college. Back when I gave a damn. I just hate bitching and complaining, but I really feel like writing about it now. So I will.

I was externing at my climbing gym for massage school and I completely spaced I had my friend's wedding reception to go to this saturday. I've been looking forward to going, but somehow the 'fun' side of my brain doesn't connect with the 'logical, let's do some work' side of my brain and somehow it got neglected in the process of arranging my externship. So, I emailed the externship supervisor today to let her know I won't be able to make it. She sends me this email that has so much attitude in it, I can almost hear the words being yelled at me. It wasn't even in caps. So I email my mentor, and he tells me that she's in the wrong and that we are allowed to be absent with 24 hour notice (the externship is on saturday... it's wednesday... how many hours notice is that?) and he forwards it to the person who takes care of externships and she confirms everything he's told me. So later, I check my email box again and guess what the externship supervisor's written to me. These were her exact words "Should I assume that you won't be doing massage here any longer?" WOW. Does she realize I am NOT getting paid to do this? I enjoy it, but money can be a serious motivator. If I was getting paid, I wouldn't be missing it, but I am not and she is starting to treat me like shit. I wish I could cuss her out, but alas, that is no longer in my nature(except when I am navigating my car in high traffic areas), so I just wrote her a nice email about how I am trying to find a replacement, but if she wants to terminate the contract, then she can. But honestly, I want to terminate the contract. I do not putting up with this kind of shit. I thought maybe she had just gotten into an argument or something and sat down to look at my email, but the second email confirms it. She is a Bitch with a capital "B".

This bitching about stuff felt really good. I'll have to do it more often. Maybe next time it'll be about how this one kid cried for 45 minutes while I was doing therapy. If it happens again, you'll probably hear about it. Toodles!

2010-03-26T22:11:00.000-07:00

Crocheted Beanies!

2010-03-19T11:41:00.001-07:00

I'm selling these beanies for $25 to help us raise money for Upanishads. If you don't see a color you like, please let me know and I'll be sure to make it for you. It's $5 for shipping. I use priority mail with USPS. If I'm going to see you soon, then just write it in the 'note to seller' section and I'll put the $5 back into you account.

2009-09-08T20:10:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to update. I always seem to find other things to do, but I promise to make this more of a priority.

Last weekend, Ryan and I went to Half Moon beach. We attempted to go geocaching, too, which didn't work so well, but it was fun!

Pictures to come!

This past weekend was Labor day and we taught a YES course together in Folsom which is by Sacramento. I am soooo rusty with my points. I've got to start living the points as well as reviewing them more often. Awesome course though. Really great kids.

Life

2009-08-29T21:08:00.000-07:00

I got a new netbook and now I have no excuse for not updating. I think it'll be nice to write what I'm feeling and stuff.

Right now, I'm really frustrated. Life is just about work at this point and I hate it. I'm working sooo much, but someone has to pay rent and bills. I would soo much rather be taking random classes at the community college down the street. It would be so nice. Sadly, that is not my life right now.

I am starting massage school next month which is really exciting and a really last minute decision on my part. I'm starting to realize how fleeting time and life really is and I have soo much I want to do. I've got to get it done. I don't want to live my life to meet someone else's requirements. I want to live it for me.

Started the 'Artist's Way' today. It's about recovering your creativity and all this cool stuff. It's a 12 week course.I hope I can stick to it with my overbearing work schedule and massage school when it starts. They say you should commit at least an hour a day which sounds like a ton right now. Who knows though, I might really like this.

I've been obsessed with this one girl's photos on flickr. Her name's rosiehardy. She's amazing. She's really inspiring me to pick up a camera again or at least brainstorm some ideas on what I want to shoot.

2009-07-14T07:34:00.001-07:00

Someone help me... I've forgotten who I am or I never knew who I was.

LIFE

2009-06-07T14:51:00.000-07:00

I don't think I've ever realized how afraid I am to LIVE. Some people are afraid to do things by themselves and others are afraid of being around too many people at once, but I am afraid to live my life. I think it's because I'm afraid of disappointing myself. I get myself lost in so many books and movies and whatever else to put off actually living my own life which I think is quite fascinating and incredible thus far.

Life is a great big waiting game anyways. Everyone's rushing off to the end, death. I know that's a little dark and whatnot, but honestly, people are always speeding off after a red light in their car only to have to stop at the next red light and etc. Or haven't you ever rushed for a appointment and you were really anxious and frustrated because you were late, and you get there and you have to wait. We're always rushing just to wait. So interesting. I think I'll try to slow down and watch a bit more.

2009-06-06T22:32:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in a while, as is the trend. I've been reading this book "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky which is brilliant by the way although I'm kind of disappointed with the boy actually having something wrong with him. I guess maybe it just scared me how much I could relate to him and it makes me wonder if there's something wrong with me which probably wouldn't surprise me all that much.

Anyways, a lots changed in the last however many months. Ryan and I got an apartment in Oakland, although he's been in L.A. for the last week and I'm not home very often because of my job. That's another thing, I got a permanent job so I don't have to travel or worry too much about money, although I feel like I'm working my life away.

I guess I got inspired by the book I was reading to write more often. I don't know what's been wrong with me lately, but I've been feeling kind of numb. Like I'm living life, but I'm not really here. It's really weird. It kind of reminds me of how I was feeling right after my abortion a few years back, where I just wanted to get away because life had not turned out as it should have. That's how I'm feeling right now. I'm really kind of disappointed with how much of a failure I feel like I am. I just can't seem to be happy.

I went to see Amma today, the hugging saint, although I didn't wait around to get a hug for her because that would've taken hours of waiting and it was already 9pm. I did get to hear her talk, which was translated by a translator with a thick Indian accent who I couldn't really understand, and we did pooja and meditated which was nice. There was this guy who kept trying to talk to me sitting by me the whole time which was kind of annoying, but I suppose it happens. I've been feeling really sad lately. I thought seeing her would make me feel better and I was so torn about whether I wanted to see her or not and it didn't really help too much. I guess maybe I was just looking for something to understand without me having to explain anything. I'm not very good at explaining things.

I've been crying in my car a lot whenever I'm driving. It's weird. It just comes on when I think of my past. I keep wondering about all these times I've slept with guys and didn't want to and whether it would've been considered rape or not. It's really sad. I must've just stuffed it down really far and it's all coming out now.

I feel like I forgot what it feels like to be happy. I know I used to be. What happened? Why don't I feel happy anymore? Life really didn't turn out the way I thought it would by age 24. But I don't understand what more I could expect. I've got the love of my life, a good job, and a place I can call home. What am I missing?

A Beautiful Mess

2009-03-26T21:45:00.000-07:00

I remember in my sculpture class in college, our last assignment was to create something inspired by a song. This assignment has really made me look at where I get my inspiration and since then, I still use music to inspire me.

There was something so romantic and nostalgic almost about Jason Mraz's "A Beautiful Mess". I was listening to his new cd on repeat as I was knitting and every time the last song came on, I felt like I was being swept away to some time when I felt like things were going to be okay no matter what. That things work out in the end.

Last year, I just went through a bad breakup with a boyfriend who's life was entangled with mine so intricately, it was hard to break up with him until I was away from the city we were both from, the friend we both hung out with and the memories we shared. I had known for some time that it wasn't going to work, but had delayed the breaking up part because I knew how painful it would be for both of us if we were both in the same city.

In the end, I know I made the right decision, although I could have executed it better. I have no regrets, but I do feel like understand when Mraz sings "it's like picking up trash in dresses."

Haven't been here for a while

2009-03-15T12:45:00.000-07:00

I thought maybe I would write about what I'm knitting on this blog, too. There's just way too much I'm interested in and want to write about, but my blog hasn't been my priority. I hope to change that.

Anyways, I've been putting stuff up on Etsy to see if it'll sell. (deknit.etsy.com)

Hopefully - crossing my fingers- because I'm really low on $$$.

Here's some of my latest stuff.

I love the back of this dress. YUM!

2008-12-01T08:59:00.000-08:00

Today was the first day of kriya for the kids. It was marvelously well. They were very responsive for it and sooo cooperative.

I've been trying to escape my mind lately. I don't think I do it consciously, but I notice that I've been spending A LOT of time at the bookstore so absorbed in this one teen novel (Twilight). I'm doing a lot of wrestling with my mind and wondering whether this is always the case or whether I'm just noticing it because I can't seem to form a cohesive thought long enough to write about it.

2008-11-27T13:00:00.000-08:00

I checked out The Rock Oasis today. The staff had some attitude, but the climbing was good. The bouldering was better than the Climbing Academy, but the people were nicer there.

Today I noticed how rapidly my moods seem to change from being really grateful to being really doubtful. I absolutely love what I am doing right now and the reason why I am here, but I wake up every morning wondering if I'm capable of it. I can't seem to ever feel completely comfortable with getting up in front of 30 high school kids. I feel like I have to keep proving myself to everyone, especially myself.

I realized today how much I miss social interaction. I miss having friends I can call to make lunch plans with and stuff. Not that I can afford it now anyways, but just having the option of being able to call people and meet up with them. I never understood how the hell people are able to make friends with people in a new city.

Western Technical Commercial School

2008-11-24T10:02:00.000-08:00

Today we started the YES program in another school! The students are very cooperative and so different from the last class the I was here to teach. I'm co-teaching with Vaishnavi and Larissa who are both from Toronto.

Last night at 3am I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep. I found myself pondering on past relationships and realizing how much they've sculpted me into who I am today. I never realized how depressed I was during some of those past relationships. I hope I've come to a point in my life where I am more aware of my emotions and able to act accordingly.

Toronto!!

2008-11-24T09:32:00.001-08:00

A church across the street from Bathurst subway exit.

A man who insisted I take his picture swearing he is photogenic. what do you think?

Isn't the city gorgeous?

I miss this guy sooo sooo much!

Welcome to Canada!

Where the fire hydrants are skinny and yellow!

Awesome building, eh?

The alley to where I'm staying.

Beautiful Toronto!

my first winter day in toronto!

2008-11-21T14:18:00.000-08:00

Due to popular request, I've decided to attempt to regularly post on my blogspot. Wish me luck!!

Here's the situation: I am back in Toronto for the third time to teach YES (Youth Empowerment Seminar) in a high school (Western Technical Institute). It is such a privilege to be back here doing this! The class starts next Monday. Larissa and I met the teacher today. She seemed very supportive of the program and is looking forward to starting Monday.

Afterwards, I went back home and took a nap due to my lack of a good amount of sleep (I only got 2 hours yesterday and had to wake up at 5:30 today) than I decided to go on a little adventure!! To go find a rockclimbing gym, which really isn't too hard since the bitter cold makes climbers run indoors. Ha! That rhymes!! Anyways, there's about three downtown that I have access to through subways and buses.

Today I checked out Toronto Climbing Academy. It was practically empty because it was midday and most people are usually at their day jobs then. I didn't realize how happy climbing made me until I was so grateful that I had found the place.

Two more climbing gyms to check out!

Are you happy?

2008-08-12T13:06:00.000-07:00

How could I not be happy? Everything I've ever wanted has been handed to me on a silver platter, with dessert to follow. I have the greatest knowledge at the tip of my fingertips. Every morning I wake up and live a life I never dreamed I would be living. I have more confidence then I could have ever dreamed of having. I've been given the time and opportunity to overcome my doubts and come into being myself. Everyday, I am soo grateful.

I get this great once in a lifetime opportunity to spread this knowledge to people: to help others become happy! I am changing the world. My lifetime compared to the existence of the earth is so little, not even noticeable, but I am spending it changing the world. How is that possible? How could I have been given such a wonderful opportunity?

New Jersey

2008-07-31T09:33:00.000-07:00

Sitting here on Ryan’s uncle’s porch with Michael Buble drumming in my ears, it’s hard to believe that it’s only been a month since the Teacher Training Course(TTC) ended in Toronto where we learned to teach the Youth Empowerment Seminar (YES!), but it has. In only a month, I’ve gone through so many transformations and revelations. I am a completely different person then I was before I started. So much stronger with a lot more faith then I could have ever wished for, but I am still as confused if not more confused then I was before I started this lifestyle.

It is a lifestyle. Some people find it difficult to trust people while we’re in the position where we have to trust them completely. A lot of them are strangers to start, but we all end up feeling like family in the end. Never having really been in a position to be taken care of like this by non-family members, it is weird to be in such a position where I have to be so dependent.

It makes me long for my home, Reno. It's only been like a month and a half since I’ve been in Reno, but it feels like a completely different life. It’s so weird. I miss climbing, but it's becoming a dull longing that I don't see getting fulfilled anytime soon. My schedule isn't my own here. If I’m not having a good day and I just want to sit in a coffee shop all day and read a book, I can't. I have to match my schedule to others and lack my own transportation to have access to the city. It’s a weird feeling. I’ve barely had any alone time, except in meditation.

Wallworks Gallery Summer 2007

2007-11-13T19:11:00.000-08:00

Wallworks was a class where 14 students came together to do a collaborative exhibition in the Sheppard Gallery.

Our assignment was to connect our pieces together by a theme. We decided to work with layers resulting in our show; 14 layers.

My concept was of a knit net with an opening to invite the viewer in. Inside the middle of the net, there was a felted heart with red yarn to imitate blood. The red yarn trickled down to the floor.